AUTHOR + ONLINE EDUCATOR

Social media can be overwhelming.

There’s the pressure to build a “following.” There’s the desire to make great content. There’s this expectation we place on ourselves to respond to every last comment and clear out those direct messages.

Honestly, I feel like the standards we hold ourselves to online are pretty impossible. There have been plenty of times where I’ve been led to burnout because I’m trying to do too much and the fun of the platforms is sucked away.

But you want to know the thing that always grounds me and brings me back to why I do what I do? Shifting the focus from me to we. From myself to what my readers. Instead of going online and thinking, “This is about me and what others can do for me,” I approach all my social media with the mindset of, “This is about how I can show up and serve. How I can infuse other people’s lives with more purpose. How I can draw others closer to God and what really matters.” When I operate out of this mindset, I experience a lot of fullness and I feel totally and completely like myself.

I’m a believer that serving others via social media is the best form of social networking. I live by it. I plan my weeks by it. And I can quickly identify when I step out of the rhythm and start thinking too much about myself on the platforms.

Maybe this is a foreign concept to you but I swear it’s the key to breaking that icky feeling that comes from trying to build a platform online. Shift your eyes from thinking the platform is all about you and you’ll start to see the truth: the beauty of your platform is how you can encourage other people to live boldly, brightly, and on purpose.

Here are a few ways you can shift your thinking from “me” to “we” on social media:

001. Make it about them, not you.

This is the toughest but most beneficial shift you could ever hope to make in the ways you use social media. If you always think social media is all about you then the platforms will quickly become draining. If you can shift your focus onto other people— building them up and seeing them— you will start to feel happier and more thankful for these platforms.

I try to think about everything I share on my platforms and vet it by asking questions: Does this matter to other people? Does this serve other people? Will they benefit from this information? How can I serve my readers today? These questions keep me out of my own head and in a space of creating content that exists to improve people’s lives rather than shine a spotlight on myself.

The beauty of “me” to “we” is that “we” puts the focus back on the importance of community in a self-centered world. We are in this together. We are on the same page. We are in the same race. We are not in competition, we are in collaboration. We are not threats to one another. We are here to help each other grow and that’s really cool and beautiful.

002. Give, give, give. Wherever you can.

I love free things. Who doesn’t? I think the lie we easily get trapped in— in social media and life in general— is that if we give then we will run out. It’s a scarcity mindset that does not serve us. I used to be afraid of resources running out but I learned there is so much freedom in believing in abundance. That God will always give you what you need.

I come across this same issue with people who want to write. They desperately desire to be a writer but they are afraid that if they start writing then they will run out of content. The opposite is true. If you get dedicated to sitting down and writing, more content will show up. An overflow of content will appear. There will be no lack of good ideas. You’ll actually probably need a notebook to catch all those ideas.

Let’s break the mindset that we will never have enough and start to realize, “I have overflow and I want to share that overflow with others.”

What’s something you can create to give away to your people? What’s something you’re good at that, by teaching others, you can improve their lives? Never be afraid to give something away for free. You’re blessing other people and that’s the beauty and power of social media.

003. Do for one what you wish you could do for all.

This advice was given to me by a mentor many years ago and it has been the most pivotal piece of wisdom I’ve ever implemented.

I get easily overwhelmed by the amount of people who show up in my inbox and direct messages. It used to be something I was better at managing but life moves forward and priorities shift and my biggest priorities are my family. That means I don’t get nearly as much time to respond to people individually. I used to feel really guilty about this but I’ve had to free myself from that expectation.

Now I go by the mindset: Do what you can. Be present and engaged while you’re in your inbox or on a social platform and respond genuinely when and how you can. It might just be a few minutes every single day but I would rather be making a small dent than no dent at all because I’m overwhelmed.

I’ve given up the quest for “inbox 0.” I no longer believe it is possible to get through all the messages. BUT, I do for one what I wish I could do for all. That means I do get to respond to emails and send birthday gifts, and Venmo coffee, and film messages for readers.

I can’t do it all and neither can you. Let’s free ourselves from the expectation of needing to be everything to everyone.

004. Celebrate others.

This is a biggie. Spend too much time consuming social media and you’ll quickly start comparing yourself to other people. They call it “social media” for a reason. You have to engage to get the full benefits of it. What does engaging mean? Commenting on other people’s posts because you’re genuinely interested in seeing them win. Responding to people who message you (when you can). Using your platform to celebrate other people.

If you’re trapped in the feelings of comparison, it can feel like resistance to celebrate other people online. It will feel unnatural and you might be tempted to not even try it. But challenge yourself. I swear, it will work. The first few times of showing up online to intentionally cheer on other people will feel a little fake. But something in your spirit will begin to change. And you will become a cheerleader over time. And while that might not seem like a big deal, it will make the biggest difference in how you feel about social media and your place on the platform.

There is more than enough room at the table for all of us. And you know what? Sometimes you shouldn’t even worry about there being enough room. You can be the kind of person who extends the table for other people and makes them feel welcomed with your encouraging presence.

005. Declare, lift + encourage.

It’s wild to me that I can come onto a platform and reach thousands of people with encouraging messages— messages of hope and reminders to keep going. I don’t take that lightly.

And you might think to yourself, “Well, my platform is small and I don’t have that kind of influence.” Friend, you do. If you have one follower then you have influence. And all platforms start off small. With one and two people. But are you showing up to gain followers or are you showing up to bring more light into the world? The answer to that question will inform the way you think about a lot of things.

Whenever I feel lost or stuck on what to show up and share, I think to myself, “What are the words I need to hear right now?” Chances are, someone else needs those exact words. You can be a light in a dark world. You can be an encourager where people are prone to discouragement. You can make the biggest difference— going person by person.

You don’t have to do it as everyone else does it. Show up for others and experience the freedom that comes with service.

I always want to hear from you:

Who are your favorite cheerleaders to follow online? We’re talking “people who boldly encourage the snot out of other people with their presence on the internet.” I wanna know those people so comment and tell me about them below.