A mentor of mine who worked at my college met someone unexpectedly during the summer of my junior year and decided not to return to campus in the Fall.

She sent an email and told me she gave up her job. I knew how long she’d been waiting to meet someone. I emailed her back to tell her that she deserved the world and I remember saying something along the lines of “I’m so glad your love story is finally complete.”

I thought that’s what she was now that she found love: complete. That’s what I believed during that time, that the right person would complete me. It’s like I could imagine this person walking around the earth with all the pieces I was missing jangling around in their pocket like loose change.

She wrote back and said: you’ll find the most astounding love will meet you when you realize YOU are complete. The right person will never complete you, they’ll only complement you because you are not missing any pieces.

I’d never heard that before. I never believed that before. This was the first time I was reading words that told me, loud and clear, you are not a project… you are not a puzzle… you are not a fixer-upper. You are a human being worthy of such big love.

Those words have never left me. They shifted something at my core and I never looked for completion in a person after that day.

I’d love to hear from you:

In moving my blog to a newer platform, I sadly had to let go of the thousands of comments and conversations that came from readers over the last 10+ years. This grieves me deeply but I know there will new conversations, fresh words of wisdom, and opportunities to create close community once again. I’d love to hear from you in the comments section. I’ll be reading + replying on a regular basis.