I bought my happiness for just three simple payments of $19.99. My problems sold for $50 on eBay. I purchased a rare friendship on Craig’s List. And I topped it all off by picking up a few dreams and passions from the 50% rack at the store down the street.
I could have simply said, “The best things in life are free” but I smiled at the thought of people bidding over blessings on eBay. Smacking Mastercard in the face by putting a price on the priceless.
Picture it. Two buyers, neck and neck, racing to call to happiness their own in the last 60 seconds of an auction. Out of nowhere, a third unexpected buyer swoops in to deliver to the highest bid and they win with ten seconds to spare. Just three business days and happiness is sitting at their doorstep, buried at the bottom of FedEx box.
Lord knows I am grateful that I don’t have to purchase the finest things in life: friends, gratitude, lifelong dreams and love. But how about sorrow, could you put a price on the chance to strip your life of the hard stuff? Would you whip out the credit card in order to swipe away someone else’s pain?
I stumbled across a Facebook status a few months back that stuck in my head so much that I copied it and have remembered it ever since. “Why do bad things seem to happen to good people? I wish they sold protective shields on eBay.” Now wouldn’t that be something? If we could Google search the cure to life’s heartaches and instantly purchase a shield that would repel all of life’s challenges and sorrows. Well, in that case, I would never need to purchase tissues, quarts of Ben & Jerry’s Ice cream or “Sorry for your loss cards” ever again. Half of Hallmark’s industry would be down if we could purchase an antidote to our issues.
I guess this is one innovation that really cannot be a reality. I thought a lot about this idea today though after talking with my father on the phone and hearing that my grandfather had suffered from a heart attack. He will be getting open heart surgery and we can pray that all goes well, but if he had that protective shield then none of this would have happened. No tears would have been shed over a morning cup of coffee, no worries would be running through the heads of those that love him.
Would I necessarily want to be able to purchase a protective shield? I am tempted to say no, that life’s challenges are what push us to be stronger, to hold tighter, to live a more full life. But at this very moment, and others that arise in every one of our lives, wouldn’t it be nice to simply press “Buy It Now,” enter in the shipping and billing information and watch the problems slide away with a swipe.
If that protective shield, that passport away from pain, was available on eBay right now, would you place a bid? How much?
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