I.
“You write so many love letters… it is hard to believe you wouldn’t be receiving a few good ones of your own.”
She’s jutting at my love life with a plastic fork. I. Can. Feel. It.
She’s older and believes that at my age (24), I shouldn’t be so focused on business so much as finding a beau. It’s cultural. I get it. & so her eyes say it all to me– You should have met someone by now. There should be a ring on your finger if not a baby in your belly. At least, at least, some inkling or trace of a love life.
“Well, I am currently dating my blog right now and he isn’t clingy or jealous so I think I’m winning.”
Fail, friends. You’d have deemed it the Epic Fail if you could have instagrammed the disdain on her face after that comment.
Said. It. So whatchu gon’ do?
II.
It’s that awkward moment when you realize you are currently “in a relationship” with your desk… your work… your blog… HootSuite.com… brainstorm sessions that end with slugging 5 hour energies only to pass out on the floor 5 minutes later…
& that you love it. Every. Darn. Ounce. Of. It.
If I took this little “relationship” to the Land of Face & Book, I’d be the first one to break the “Like” button. Mark Zuckerberg would call me personally and say, “Darling, Hannah, do you need me to invent the “Love” button?”
“Why, yes! Dearest Mark, you are such the gem.” And I’d proceed in breaking the “Love” button that Mr. Zuckerberg handcrafted for me.
Call me strange… or pathetic… but I deem it to be a beautiful thing when your work is a love story. When the moment you first sunk into it felt you should say straight to it, “Hey, I just met you… and this is crazy” (you know where I am going.)
Would I love some yellow roses on occasion? Who. Wouldn’t?
But my blog is very good to me these days. Perhaps a tad needy & not the best door holder but he’s clean and we neverrrr fight. Ok, I’m lying… we have some epic fights… like “I don’t how to quit you fights.”
Because that’s the truth, folks. If you are going to date something– a blog, a business, a boy or girl, a nonprofit, a project– you have to know how to quit it. How to shut off. How to have an identity that is just you. & you alone.
You have to reach that point of knowing that when you reach out your hand to shake the hand of someone else that you would still have peace in being just you…. No titles. No big experience. No life-defining, making out all the time, I’m-so-in-love relationships to speak of. Just you. (scary, right?)
Your. Bones.
Your. Thoughts.
Your. Actions.
Your. Decisions.
How you see yourself in the mirror.
When you allow yourself breaks.
How you allow yourself breaks.
All of that matters… for lasting, healthy relationships with WordPress blogs or Wix sites. With boys or beaus or babies.
III.
I left my full time, commute into work, be at the desk job one month ago. It’s been a long month of figuring it out. Making things work. Finding the balance. And re-finding me in the rubble. Re-finding to refine.
It’s dating– yes, dating. Post-Honeymoon. After-the-first-fight, things-just-got-SO-real dating. Sacrificing.
Giving every ounce of yourself to it because you know, you absolutely know, that you will never have this time again… this chance again…and so it has to mean something. Just like the right kind of relationship will inspire others & grow others & make others want the same– this, too, must do the same.
Be it boy or blog– it is a courtship. A constant form of maintenance. A dedication. A commitment.
It’s ensuring that the two of you will grow with the help of one another. It’s deciding not to walk away when times get touch or the HTML glitches are making you want to chokehold innocents waiting in line for their lattes.
It’s staying. When the honeymoon is over… finances are slim… dreams seem frail.
& it’s truly hard to find the words.
to be learning from the ones who’ve walking this path before… to be figuring out my own voice… & what she has to say to the world.
& it’s finally knowing…
that when I meet him–whoever “him” may be– I’ll know who I am at that first handshake. Won’t falter or stumble or need him to complete me.
I’ll just be me & he’ll think it’s really beautiful.
…
Darling little side-noter: I am excited beyond words to start up brew sessions via my blog. Check em’ out. Maybe you & your budding project ideas are a Cinderella shoe-fit for the services. More. To. Come.
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