AUTHOR + ONLINE EDUCATOR

If you ever walk into my house and notice a tea kettle on, with a peppermint teabag waiting in a ceramic mug, it can only mean one thing: I’m about to do something I reallyyyyyy don’t feel like doing.

It might be tackling an unruly inbox (I’m officially retired from the Inbox Zero Club).

It could be writing in the later hours of the day where inspiration doesn’t feel so spry.

Or it might be a project I’ve been putting off, even though I know, once I finish, I will feel 1,000 pounds lighter.

I call these things “resistance tasks.” They are things we know we should do–things that would make us feel like we’re stepping into the better versions of ourselves–but they come with a lot of, well, resistance.

When it comes to these tasks, I often find myself in a mental headlock before beginning, telling myself all the lies: I lack motivation. I don’t want to start. I’ll never make real progress. Deep down, I know that everything in my life will feel a little smoother if I simply begin.

So I’ve learned to trick my brain with a small but powerful tool: a starting ritual.

I’m curious: What’s the resistance task for you?

The daily workout?
The evening turndown service?
Sitting down to read the Bible?
A consistent writing practice?

Whatever it is, the starting ritual can help you get there.

If you’ve never heard the term before, a starting ritual is a practical, repeatable action that serves as a trigger for an upcoming task. It’s a mental priming– a way of signaling to your brain that you are about to begin something, for better or worse.

Charles Duhigg would call this the “cue” in the habit loop (something we dive deep into in my course about creating your dream routines).

Michael Hyatt refers to this as a startup ritual– a revving of the engine before you hit the gas.

Before the workout, you drink your favorite pre-workout.
Before the nightly turndown service, you put on a good playlist and light a candle.
Before you crack open your Bible, you brew a fresh cup of coffee and take a moment to pray.
Before sitting down to write, you tuck away your phone and put on your favorite, cozy sweatshirt.

 

Just before I sat down to write you this email, I followed my little starting ritual: I made peppermint tea. I put on some classical Christmas music. I turned on a timer to keep me focused. And I lit a candle in my office.

Just those steps were enough to overcome the resistance and get me into go-mode.

I like to think of them as kind, little messages to myself: This is going to be cozy. It’s going to be relaxing. It might even be enjoyable. And if it’s not? Well, good news: Christmas is only four months away.

 

A starting ritual doesn’t have to break your brain or be too complicated. Do it enough times, and it should eventually happen on autopilot.

When I don’t feel like doing emails, you can find me following the same routine: Laptop on the counter—tea brewing. Candle lit. Clearing a space brings me joy, and it’s a kind way to tell myself, “We’re doing this.”

 

The smaller the better. A starting ritual can be anything from turning on the record player or closing the office door to dimming the lights or driving to the gym.

Years ago, to get my workout done in the early morning hours, I would prep the coffee maker as my starting ritual. That tricked my brain into beginning the workout without even really trying. I knew that if I could show up and do the reps, the reward would be coffee. Glorious, delicious coffee.

 

I don’t know about you, but brushing my teeth or cleaning up my office isn’t going to get me into the mood to write. But a cozy beverage and reading a few pages of one of my favorite authors? That’s a sure way to prime my brain (and calm it down at the same time).

That’s the beautiful thing about rituals– they’re meant to mean something more than just habits. So if you’re struggling to pick your starting ritual, ask yourself, “What is the feeling I want to stir in this moment?” Is it peace? Relaxation? Energy? Confidence? Deeper presence? Pick a ritual that will prime you to experience more of that emotion.

So here’s to starting– even when the resistance feels weighty.

As simple and maybe mundane as these actions can seem, they hold a lot of power. They help us beat that dreaded resistance. They give our minds a second to prepare and adapt as we tell ourselves the better truths:

This might feel uncomfortable at first.
But uncomfortable things are often the most worthwhile.
Ready or not, we’re beginning. Hallelujah, we’re starting, and that’s enough of a reason to be proud.

Happy starting.

hb.

P.S. If you’re ready to break through resistance and build routines that finally stick , my course on building better habits is designed to help you do just that.