Hi sweet friend!
This isn’t my typical blog essay, but I wanted to check in here for a moment and give you an update to explain my absence! I’ve been in the rhythm of publishing content to the blog weekly, and maybe you’ve noticed I’ve fallen off over the last month. For starters, I appreciate your patience with me! Blogging is my favorite (out of all my work), but it is also more of my side hustle than my daily workload.
A few months ago, I spent time with God praying about the fourth nonfiction book. I felt lost, deflated, and tired over where to go next. My mind kept playing tricks on me. One day I felt on fire about the book content. The next day, I doubted there was even a book to write.
In my prayer, I felt in my spirit that I was stalling. I was neglecting the act of even pressing in because I didn’t want to do the hard but necessary work of even finding out if a book was meant to be written. God gently reminded me that I needed to submerge myself in the writing process. I wish I could tell you there is an easier option to figure out if an idea has wings, but alas, I think you have to start writing to see for yourself.
I wrote a date on the calendar, confident that if I just started showing up daily to press in then, the book would be revealed to me by that day. I know this sounds like some crazy faith, but hey, that’s the only way I know how to operate when it comes to creative work! It’s how I’ve created both the proposals and first drafts of books I’ve written in the past.
With that, I started to press in.
And let me tell you, it was uncomfortable. Reallyyy uncomfortable. I was up in the early hours, pouring my heart onto the page. I’d get to the coffee shop when it opened and spend the first 2 hours of the day pressing in. There wasn’t a moment or a morning where I felt like pressing in, but I knew there would be progress if I kept showing up.
And then, I stopped. I distracted myself with “busy work” and stopped pressing in. I think my only reason for doing so is that I was tired of the discomfort and tired of the holding spot it felt like my brain would be in until I hit that date.
In the creation process, you can absolutely stall. You can distract yourself. You can stop the work altogether. But if there is something you’re meant to push your way through, it will likely weigh heavy on you until you begin the work again.
With one week to spare until the date I set for myself, God reminded me that I wouldn’t feel any better until I was obedient. If I believed the date was divinely orchestrated, I had to take it more seriously. Simple obedience changes everything.
I started pressing in again, though I would have rather done anything but press in.
I pressed, and I pressed, and I pressed, despite the discomfort. And where I would have told you there was no way I could do the amount of work I did in one week, God showed up. Right on time, the first draft of my proposal was finished.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve written and rewritten a 40+ page proposal for my fourth nonfiction book. Over the last two days, I’ve been in the trenches writing sample material— another task I wouldn’t have been able to do without God. Where I think I’m lacking, He has continually come and helped fill in the gaps. God and I are a tight team these days— the work is hard but good but hard.
All that to say— that’s where I’ve been, that’s what I’ve been working on, and I miss you.
I debated not showing up in this space until I had a new essay for you, but I felt like maybe I could just come and share honestly, and the story would bless someone.
Maybe this will be the nudge for someone to keep pressing in or to start pressing in. Such good things happen when we press in. Miracles happen when we press in. I am convinced it never gets more comfortable- you are 100% going to face resistance. But resistance isn’t a bad thing. Resistance, a lot of times, actually means you’re closer to the breakthrough than you can imagine.
It’s okay if you go a little dark. It’s okay if some things have to go on pause. You’re doing a good work and people will understand.
When I decided to press in one last time, the breakthrough came, and it came in such a way that all I can do as I type these words to you is be amazed by how seamless the last few days have felt for me. I’m tired. I’m encouraged. I’m excited to present this book to my publisher. And I’ll be back to posting essays soon!
I’d love to hear from you:
In moving my blog to a newer platform, I sadly had to let go of the thousands of comments and conversations that came from readers over the last 10+ years. This grieves me deeply but I know there will new conversations, fresh words of wisdom, and opportunities to create close community once again. I’d love to hear from you in the comments section. I’ll be reading + replying on a regular basis.
Honest shares are the best shares. Thank you for sharing your process – it helps!
Of course! It was a fun post to write!
such hard work, Hannah. the rewards of the obedience may be those both evident and not-yet-seen.
Amen!
KNOW that we love YOU no matter when we hear from ya, no matter where God takes you. May you FEEL His grace and peace! We sure appreciate your transparency and encouragement!!
Thank you so much for the encouragement!
Thank you for these words, Hannah. I needed them today– the reminder that what God puts on your heart and what feels heavy and stays there is there for a reason. I’m taking these words as a sign to press in today!
I’m so so glad! Keep going!
I’m in a similar season of my life right now, and I’m so grateful that I’m not alone.
Keep pressing in!
Thank you for this Hannah! So timely! I have been taking your summer intensive writing course and learning how to blog. Writing about my mental illness has been good and deep, but one “note card” opened up a trigger a few weeks ago which resulted in a panic attack which was pretty serious. I stopped everything, including my journal writing. I was walking on egg shells. I decided to step back and focus more on my self care. Because of the trigger I am back in with my counselor and working through things. My husband says it’s all part of my journey. Which was so encouraging and something that I can add to my future blog one day. With that being said, my Pastor encouraged me, also disciplined me out of love, to step out in faith and serve. Aside of the ministry needing the help, he exhorted, “Maybe YOU need this ministry, not just us needing the help.” He was SO right, I stepped out, and I was blessed and had joy at the end of the day. Serving had helped me in the changes, loss, and new seasons I am currently in and the resulting triggers, it gave me a new purpose and alas, motivation and desire to pick up the class again( but taking breaks to ground myself), and to continue writing in my journal about my MH journey and help others in their mental illnesses. I even prayed if this blog thing that the Lord had given me a passion to do was something that I should continue, is there a point to it? Then a friend reached out needing prayer for her mental illness and I took that as a confirmation to keep on going.:) Be blesssed Hannah, appreciate you❤️
Thank you for sharing your story with me! I’m honored. And I think this isn’t a bad thing– you want to make sure you fully deal with the parts of your story that are triggering before putting them out there in the world. Once you put them out there, you can’t get them back. I think this is such important work!
Oh Hannah- I’m so blessed by reading this. My husband and I have spent the last 4 months trying to decide if we need to move our family (we have 4 daughters) states away from the home we live in. The home where my parents are 3 miles away. The home that’s surrounded on 4 sides by the crops my dad plants every year (only the driveway lets us out). The home where my parents lived when I was born. The home where my grandparents lived until they passed. The home where we moved the day our triplets turned 2 months old.
I remember telling my grandma that I would live in this home someday when she died (I think I was 10; not a very “kind” thing to say. But after she passed, my aunt found a plastic ring I gave her when I was 3. I told her then too, that I would get it back when she died. So she wrote a note, put it and the ring in an envelope in her cedar chest, and there it was waiting for me 24 years later.)
This is the community where my husband and I were both raised. Generations of our families before us were here. And maybe God wants us to up and go…. It all started with a Saturday afternoon spent mowing when I heard God say “it’s just a house. Maybe you should go.” He and I fought that afternoon as I drove the lawnmower. And I keep hearing the whispers. And I have to press in and sort it out. Trying to decide if it’s me or if it’s God hurts. Trying to sort through the guilt of a move hurts. Trying to weigh the pros and cons hurts.
Will you pray for us?
Praying for you, Kirby! I pray that you and your husband would have peace about your decision and that you would follow the Lord, regardless of what He tells you!
This was just the post I needed to read today, in the midst of feeling so distracted and defeated about a project deadline coming up quickly that I feel is so important to me to submit to. Thanks for these encouraging words and for giving us a “behinds the scenes” look.
Wow Hannah, always so encouraged how God uses your timely words to speak into things in my own life. I am dealing with a completely different issue, but this exhorted me to press in and do the hard work to get to the results I want (which is freedom). Thank you, for allowing the Lord to use you.
Wow. Thank you for this! I’ve found myself previously stalling because I didn’t feel it and I now see I was just uncomfortable so I kept moving on with something else. But today I’m
Encouraged to keep pressing in.
Thank you I needed this today. God bless you and excited for your book!
In a recent post I read from this forum, I got this guy’s referral from some positive testimonials, I applied for his hacking service and he delivered a professional result to me, which saved me from a deceitful relationship. I strongly recommend you to reach out to this software professional hacker at ‘hackingloop6@ gmail. com’ for any hack related issues. I have used him a couple times and he has never disappointed me,His services include : bypassing social media security, Spying on accounts/cellphones, retrieving deleted text messages or accounts, You can also reach out to him if your funds are hanging in online trading platforms like expert-option ,cal financial, Analyst , coinspot, Ctx Prime, Fix Credit Score and many more.. He’s also reachable on WhatsApp +1(484)540 – 0785.
Thank you Hannah, I needed this reminder in this season of mine. Noticing myself not spending as much time pressing into God as I would like to. Thank you for sharing and acknowledging it can be hard and tiring, but ultimately, it will be worth it. God will show up with us. T.T
My instinct always is to run from anything that feels hard. I avoid it and avoid it and avoid it until life forces me to face it and press in to the battle. This week, life forced my hand to face the battle. I’d run for a long time so pressing in was SO uncomfortable. It’s still uncomfortable. I’m facing one of my greatest emotional battles of doubt and all I want to do is stop pressing in. But I’m doing my best and seeing slow but positive results. Thank you for your story and encouragement that it is okay to want to stop and even take breaks. But that in the end, pressing through is what brings us closer to Jesus
Hannah, you speak to me every time I open one of your newsletters, emails, blogs, and social media updates. You have a way with your words and your faith that brings me in and wants more. You have touched me in ways that I have been moved spiritually, and mentally, and ready to dive into what I want for myself and to be able to leave a legacy for my children. Thank you and please never give up on yourself and put yourself first. GOD IS AMAZING!!!
Even in the waiting. Even with the delays. Even in the hard. These words are precious and right on time.
I
I needed this. I’ve been putting off hard because well it’s hard and failure. I feel stuck and it’s because I haven’t been willing to press in or ask for help to do the hard in front of me. Thank you for the encouragement.
It’s so easy to feel so alone in this. I look at the people around me, and everyone seems to be pouring in to their lives more than me. I try not to compare, but I’ve spent the better part of my adulthood running from discipline and choosing what’s comfortable. I’m scared. I’ve been scared for a long time. I hate being bad at things. Absolutely loath it.
For the past three years or so I’ve had this nagging feeling that I should go back to school. I never finished college. I dropped out a handful of time. There’s a lot of shame there, and doubt.
Somehow your words always seem to hit me right when I need them. You inspire so many people, but it’s kind of creepy. Or God ha. I’ve been praying when I can find the courage to pray about this. And here are the words: do the hard thing. Oof. Kind of wish I hadn’t prayed about it lol. Now I just have to trust God will see me through. Thank you for your example. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Reading this brought a new awareness as to how I operate and I love your encouragement. I had a wild and crazy idea last week after a conversation with a colleague hit me like a lightning bolt. I jumped right in to making a dream happen, spent 3 late nights totally immersed in writing an application and asking a friend for a recommendation. With just 3 more steps to complete, I hit a confidence crushing wall. Thank you for the encouragement to continue pressing-in. I really needed this. Your timely message is gluing my ambition back together.